1. Tales From The 'Verse
  2. Introverts

  1. Natives of Home Depot and Lowe’s

    • everybidenjusthavegoodtime: *releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free hotcommunist: invasive species encroach on lesbian territory dreaming-shark: This is a common misconception because they[...]
    • everybidenjusthavegoodtime: *releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
      hotcommunist: invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
      dreaming-shark: This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

      ailithnight: A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

      Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

      chequerootlurks: As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

      Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

      This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

      A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

      Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

      One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

      Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

      Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

      Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

      Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

      katy-l-wood: As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.
      swindle94: now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!
      worldheritagepostorginization: World Heritage Post
      Source: everybidenjusthavegoodtime

  2. Charlotte and her Monster under the bed

    • Image credits: kittenwiskers Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous. I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last o[...]

    • Image credits: kittenwiskers

      Case: #273402
      Status: Disastrous.

      I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying!

      I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed.

      Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster.
      I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again.

      “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and…

      She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me.

      “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do.

      The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out.

      “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face.

      “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him.

      As Francis runs from the room he soils himself.

      I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.”

      Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.

      — The Story, Illustrated —

      Image credits: JWITLESS ART

  3. Into the darkness . . .

    • “Into the darkness I go, to loose my mind, and find myself again.”

    • “Into the darkness I go, to loose my mind, and find myself again.”

  4. The Story of Arepo

    • Text - 0178% D02:48 tent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net 2 writing-prompt-s Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up. sadoeuphemist Arepo built a temple in his field, a humble thing, some stones stacked up to make a cairn, and two days later a god moved in. "Hope you're a harvest god," Arepo said, and set up an altar and burnt two stalks of wheat. "It'd be nice, you know." He looked down at the ash smeared on the stone, the rocks all laid askew

      Text - 0178% 02:48 "I'm of the fallen leaves," it said. "The worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth. I'm a god of a dozen different nothings, scraps that lead to rot, momentary glimpses. A change in the air, and then it's gone." The god heaved another sigh. "There's no point in worship in that, not like War, or the Harvest, or the Storm. Save your prayers fo

      Text - 178% 02:49 A year passed, and then another. The temple had layered walls of stones, a roof of woven twigs. Arepo's neighbors chuckled as they passed it. Some of their children left fruit and flowers. And then the Harvest failed, the gods withdrew their bounty. In Arepo's field the wheat sprouted thin and brittle. People wailed and tore their robes, slaughtered lambs and spilled their blood, looked upon the ground with haunted eyes and went to bed hungry. Arepo came and sat by the temple,

      Text - Text - 0179% 02:49 "I could not save them," said the god, its voice a low wail. "I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so so sorry." The leaves fell burning from the trees, a soft slow rain of ash. "I have done nothing! All these years, and I have done nothing for you!" "Shush," Arepo said, tasting his own blood, his vision blurring. He propped himself up against the temple, forehead pressed against the stone in prayer. "Tell me," he mumbled. "Tell me again. What sort of god are you?" "I -" said t

      Text - 0179% 02:49 here?" The god roused from its contemplation. "His name was Arepo," it said, "He was a sower." Sora startled, a little, because she had never before heard the voice of a god. "How can I honor him?" She asked. "Bury him," the god said, "Beneath my altar." "All right," Sora said, and went to fetch her shovel. "Wait," the god said when she got back and began collecting the bones from among the broken twigs and fallen leaves. She laid them out on a roll of undyed wool, the only cl

      Text - 口79% 02:50 Most believed it to empty, as the god who resided there long ago had fallen silent. Yet, any who passed the decaying shrine felt an ache in their hearts, as though mourning for a lost friend. The cold that seeped from the temple entrance laid their spirits low, and warded off any potential visitors, save for the rare and especially oblivious children who would leave tiny clusters of pink and white flowers that they picked from the surrounding meadow. The god sat in his peaceful

      Text - 0179% 02:50 So he painted the sunset with yellow leaves, enticed the worms to dance in their soil, flourished the boundary between forest and field with blossoms and berries, christened the air with a biting cold before winter came, ripened the apples with crisp, red freckles to break under sinking teeth, and a dozen other nothings, in memory of the man who once praised the god's work on his dying breath. "Hello, God of Every Humble Beauty in the World," called a familiar voice. The squin

  5. Digital Bill of Rights

    • A Digital Bill of Rights would be important, but this is not the way to do it. There is a lot of loose language here and that’s room to wiggle. Room to wiggle for a lawmaker is a means to introd[...]

    • A Digital Bill of Rights would be important, but this is not the way to do it. There is a lot of loose language here and that’s room to wiggle. Room to wiggle for a lawmaker is a means to introduce legislation that isn’t so good. Especially when it comes to an elected official that has a history of only voting his party. Shows that he’s not interested in voting what his constituents want, but is more interested in touting the party line and nothing else.

      1. Freedom – Digital Citizens have a right to a free, uncensored Internet, from anywhere, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
      2. Openness – Digital Citizens have a right to an open, unobstructed Internet, from anywhere, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
      3. Equality – All Digital Citizens are created equal on the Internet, thus laws of the physical and digital realms shall be applied equally, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
      4. Participation – Any and all Digital Citizens have a right to peaceably participate where and how they choose on the Internet, so long as their digital presence does not hinder services of the provider in any form.
      5. Creativity – Digital Citizens have a right to create, grow and collaborate on the Internet with whomever they choose, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation, and be held accountable for what they create.
      6. Sharing – Digital Citizens have a right to freely share their ideas, lawful discoveries and opinions on the Internet, where they choose and by which medium they choose, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
      7. Accessibility – Digital Citizens have a right to access the Internet, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation, or where they are.
      8. Association – Digital Citizens have a right to freely associate on the Internet, with whomever they choose, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
      9. Privacy – Digital Citizens have a right to privacy on the Internet, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation. All digital information held online (herein “The Cloud”) shall be held in the strictest of privacy and any disclosure by a private/public entity to a Government Agency or individual citizen shall also trigger full disclosure to the citizen who’s information is being shared.
      10. Property – Digital Citizens have a right to benefit from what they create, and be secure in their intellectual property on the internet.

      Source: Republican Congress Representative Darrell Issa, , (Original Source (here) does not work any more).

  6. Anonymous Quotes

    • “The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.[...]

    • “The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.” — Anonymous

  7. Herman Melville Quotes

    • “…to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. “     —Moby Dick, Chapter 135. “The Chase.—Third Day[...]

    • “…to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. “

          —Moby Dick, Chapter 135. “The Chase.—Third Day”

  8. George Orwell Quotes

    • “We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” — George Orwell

    • “We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” — George Orwell

  9. 10 Rules for Being Human

    • These are from “If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for Being Human as Introduced in Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Cherie Carter-Scott. Amazon. You will receive a body. You m[...]

    • These are from “If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for Being Human as Introduced in Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Cherie Carter-Scott. Amazon.

      1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s ours to keep for the entire period.
      2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”
      3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error and experimentation. The :failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”
      4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
      5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain it’s lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
      6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a :here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better then “here.”
      7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
      8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
      9. Your answers lie with you. The answer to life’s questions lie with you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
      10. You will forget all this.

  10. Nacodoches Parents Are Funny As Fuck

    • Original story was not EFL speaker, edited to flow in English. “Me” is not actually me, just reproducing the conversation. Deleted emojis, they did not copy well. Nacodoches parents are fu[...]

    • Original story was not EFL speaker, edited to flow in English. “Me” is not actually me, just reproducing the conversation. Deleted emojis, they did not copy well.

      Nacodoches parents are funny as fuck. This man and his daughter were at Walmart and we are all standing in line. It’s them, this lady and then it’s me. So the little girl is like 5 or 6. So she’s asking a lot of questions. So she asked her daddy something and he was like….

      Dad: Now why would you ask a question like that? If she asked you why you fat, then you would be mad. Worry about you, not her.

      Lady in front of me: You know, you really shouldn’t be talking to your child like that. That’s mental child abuse!

      Me: 😑😒 awe here this mfer go..

      Man: Who you talking to?

      Lady: You! You shouldn’t be calling your child fat! That is child abuse!

      Man: Don’t come at me sideways ma’am, you don’t know me like that. And if you must know, I’m teaching my child not to ask rude and offensive questions. Any time she asks a rude question, I ask her one about herself. So like I told her. Worry about you, not her.

      Me: OKAY!

      Lady: That’s mental and emotional abuse.

      Man: You know what, baby girl, ask this lady what you asked me.. go ahead. You wont be in trouble this time.

      Little girl: Ma’am, why do you stink like that? You don’t take baths?

      Lady: That’s not a very nice thing to ask someone. It could really hurt someone’s feelings.

      Man: See, when she asked me this question, she was talking about you. And you wanna come talking about abuse but I was trying to save you from getting your feelings hurt. Now look at you; sad and stinky.

      Me: OMG I CANT BREATHE!!! I DONE DROPPED MY DAMN RED BULL!

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