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  • Natives of Home Depot and Lowe’s

    everybidenjusthavegoodtime: *releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
    hotcommunist: invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
    dreaming-shark: This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

    ailithnight: A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

    Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

    chequerootlurks: As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

    Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

    This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

    A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

    Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

    One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

    Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

    Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

    Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

    Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

    katy-l-wood: As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.
    swindle94: now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!
    worldheritagepostorginization: World Heritage Post

  • Digital Bill of Rights

    A Digital Bill of Rights would be important, but this is not the way to do it. There is a lot of loose language here and that’s room to wiggle. Room to wiggle for a lawmaker is a means to introduce legislation that isn’t so good. Especially when it comes to an elected official that has a history of only voting his party. Shows that he’s not interested in voting what his constituents want, but is more interested in touting the party line and nothing else.

    1. Freedom – Digital Citizens have a right to a free, uncensored Internet, from anywhere, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
    2. Openness – Digital Citizens have a right to an open, unobstructed Internet, from anywhere, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
    3. Equality – All Digital Citizens are created equal on the Internet, thus laws of the physical and digital realms shall be applied equally, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
    4. Participation – Any and all Digital Citizens have a right to peaceably participate where and how they choose on the Internet, so long as their digital presence does not hinder services of the provider in any form.
    5. Creativity – Digital Citizens have a right to create, grow and collaborate on the Internet with whomever they choose, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation, and be held accountable for what they create.
    6. Sharing – Digital Citizens have a right to freely share their ideas, lawful discoveries and opinions on the Internet, where they choose and by which medium they choose, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
    7. Accessibility – Digital Citizens have a right to access the Internet, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation, or where they are.
    8. Association – Digital Citizens have a right to freely associate on the Internet, with whomever they choose, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation.
    9. Privacy – Digital Citizens have a right to privacy on the Internet, without exception to race, color, creed, religion, origin or orientation. All digital information held online (herein “The Cloud”) shall be held in the strictest of privacy and any disclosure by a private/public entity to a Government Agency or individual citizen shall also trigger full disclosure to the citizen who’s information is being shared.
    10. Property – Digital Citizens have a right to benefit from what they create, and be secure in their intellectual property on the internet.

    Source: Republican Congress Representative Darrell Issa, [1], [2] (Original Source (here) does not work any more).


  • 10 Rules for Being Human

    These are from “If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for Being Human as Introduced in Chicken Soup for the Soul” by Cherie Carter-Scott. Amazon.

    1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s ours to keep for the entire period.
    2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”
    3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error and experimentation. The :failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”
    4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
    5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain it’s lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
    6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a :here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better then “here.”
    7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
    8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
    9. Your answers lie with you. The answer to life’s questions lie with you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
    10. You will forget all this.

  • Nacodoches Parents Are Funny As Fuck

    Original story was not EFL speaker, edited to flow in English. “Me” is not actually me, just reproducing the conversation. Deleted emojis, they did not copy well.

    Nacodoches parents are funny as fuck. This man and his daughter were at Walmart and we are all standing in line. It’s them, this lady and then it’s me. So the little girl is like 5 or 6. So she’s asking a lot of questions. So she asked her daddy something and he was like….

    Dad: Now why would you ask a question like that? If she asked you why you fat, then you would be mad. Worry about you, not her.

    Lady in front of me: You know, you really shouldn’t be talking to your child like that. That’s mental child abuse!

    Me: 😑😒 awe here this mfer go..

    Man: Who you talking to?

    Lady: You! You shouldn’t be calling your child fat! That is child abuse!

    Man: Don’t come at me sideways ma’am, you don’t know me like that. And if you must know, I’m teaching my child not to ask rude and offensive questions. Any time she asks a rude question, I ask her one about herself. So like I told her. Worry about you, not her.

    Me: OKAY!

    Lady: That’s mental and emotional abuse.

    Man: You know what, baby girl, ask this lady what you asked me.. go ahead. You wont be in trouble this time.

    Little girl: Ma’am, why do you stink like that? You don’t take baths?

    Lady: That’s not a very nice thing to ask someone. It could really hurt someone’s feelings.

    Man: See, when she asked me this question, she was talking about you. And you wanna come talking about abuse but I was trying to save you from getting your feelings hurt. Now look at you; sad and stinky.

    Me: OMG I CANT BREATHE!!! I DONE DROPPED MY DAMN RED BULL!


  • AN ACCURATE HOROSCOPE!!!!!

    First and foremost, I put zero stock/credence into Astrology. It’s pseudoscience at best. That being said, I am always curious to
    see what the crackpots have to say. I have copy/pasted this ASIS. Originally from an unknown website or possibly a Facebook post (it contained emoji and hashtags) into the Notes.app on my phone, from that app to here (which is possibly where it’s ultimate destination was meant to be, who knows). The following changes may and/or may not have been made within reason;

    • Spelling mistakes have been corrected,
    • Grammar mistakes as well (if I caught them).
    • I also made it an unordered list.
    • Removed any personal notes from the source.

    This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you’ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning, and it only gets worse from there.

    • AQUARIUS – Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
      • Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • PISCES – The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
      • Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • ARIES – The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
      • Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • TAURUS – The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
      • Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • GEMINI – The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
      • Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not share this post
    • CANCER – The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
      • MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • LEO – The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
      • Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • VIRGO – The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
      • Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • LIBRA – The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
      • Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • SCORPIO – The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
      • EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad Luck if you do not share this post.
    • SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
      • Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.
    • CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
      • Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

  • Untitled – 04/12/2020

    A little late night insomniac fueled #wordporn.

    I grew up not knowing who I was,
    I grew up not knowing who I wanted to be,
    I grew up not knowing who I wanted to believe in.

    Now I grow older every day, knowing who I am
    Now I grow older every day, knowing who I want to be,
    Now I grow older every day, knowing who I want to believe in.

    When I die, I will know who I wasn’t, who I was, and who I am.
    When I die, I will know who I wanted to be, who I wasn’t, and who I should have been, but never who I was.
    When I die, I will know who I never believed in, who I did believe in and who I could believe in.

    When I’m dead, I will know nothing.
    When I’m dead, will I be remembered for the man I was?
    When I’m dead, whom will I have left an impression on?

    When I die, I will have known [nothing].

    v1© Chris Brennan, 1/19/2014
    v2© Chris Brennan, 4/12/2014
    v2.1© Christopher Brennan, 4/12/20